FOR SALE: Son-in-law, dirt cheap

In fact, I'll pay you to take him away! Make him work and just send my daughter his checks. Displays a violent temper, plenty of ignorance, a sorry work ethic, and has no idea what it truly means to be a man. His one good attribute: he's very fertile. His worst attribute: once he's made the children, he has no clue what to do with them after that. Treats his wife like crap, talks to her like she's a stray dog, and lies every time he opens his mouth. The only reason he is still alive is because he hasn't hit my daughter or the children YET. The holes in the wall and ceiling are sure indicators that it's only a matter of time. So if you really want him, you better come pick him up ASAP.